god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize