so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
