Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
