it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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