benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
