You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
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