i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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