Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I wish I only lived at night.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
