First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize