A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
