I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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