so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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