Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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