Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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