Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize