Small penises have feelings too.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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