there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
