He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
