Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
