I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
