So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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