I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
