Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
