I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
