he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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