This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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