The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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