I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize