So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
