Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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