1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
