I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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