If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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