he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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