I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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