im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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