R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
