I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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