Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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