So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
