I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
