I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
