Fine. I'll sleep in my office
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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