im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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