I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
