i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
