I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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