HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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