dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She made me pour olive oil on her.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
