new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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