SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We left an ass print on the piano.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
