well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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