But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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