all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
