yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I met the friendliest cop last night
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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