Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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