is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
