This dress was meant to end up on your floor
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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