I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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