I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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