We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
